Poems For A Mother In Law Who Passed Away?
- Marvin Harvey
Poems for a Mother-in-Law’s Funeral or Memorial Service
- ‘Weep Not for Me’ by Unknown.
- ‘Afterglow’ by Helen Lowrie Marshall.
- ‘Mother to Son’ by Langston Hughes.
- ‘In Memory of My Mother’ by Patrick Kavanagh.
- ‘Mother o’ Mine’ by Rudyard Kipling.
- ‘Dearest Mum’ by Unknown.
- ‘Goodbye Mom’ by Aneela Ahmed.
What should you not say at a funeral?
Funeral Etiquette: What to Say & What to Do When Someone Dies. L aunch me SPONSORED CONTENT DECLARATION: This content is brought to you by Nirvana Memorial Garden, Courtesy of their Life Education Series Campaign. This article discusses what we should do and the things we should and shouldn’t say at a funeral. This is even so as we Singaporeans are living in a land of diverse cultures, religions, and ethics. As such, it comes as no surprise that there are differing red tapes that we should concern ourselves with when attending a funeral here in Singapore. For a comprehensive guide on attending a funeral of a different religion.
- The Appropriate Visiting Time
- What Should You Do When You Arrive
- What Can You Say
- What You Should Not Say
- Monetary contributions
- Helping Someone Who Is Grieving
1.The Appropriate Visiting Time Telegrams, Whatsapp is usually the mediums used to convey news of death among friends and relatives. There is no fixed timing as to when one should visit, however, we would suggest paying respect and visiting the deceased at the time stated in the message. 2.What Should You Do After Arriving? On arrival, be mindful of what the current funeral procession is and try not to be in the way of any preparation work or rituals. If you arrive at a scene of one. it is advisable to come back after the ritual or to wait out. 3.What Can You Say As guests, we should always do our very best to be respectful towards the family of the deceased. It is appropriate to offer your sympathy to the family, and if you do not know the family well. a simple “My condolences to you and your family.” or “I’m sorry for your loss” will suffice.
If you are close to the family, you may extend to say something personal about the person who has died, For example, “I’m so sorry that you have lost your mom (her name) she was a lovely lady and we will miss her and her cooking very much.” Saying something personal that kindly remembers the person who has pass on and what they meant to you is usually appreciated and appropriate.
Here are some examples of what to say at a funeral:
- I’m sorry for your loss
- He will be missed by us
- She was a lovely woman and will be greatly missed
- You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers
- I’m all ears for you
- My condolences to you and your family
4.What You Should Not Say A generic tip here is to avoid cliche sayings such as “s/he had a good life”, ” they are in a better place now” or “he has lived a long life, s/he lived through 4 generations.” what we would want to focus on here is to acknowledge and recognize the grief of the family members, and not to minimize or trivialize their feelings.
It may be a meaningful and long life for the deceased, but to those left behind, as far as longevity is concerned, may never be enough, and that the impact of the bereavement on them must not and cannot be trivialized. Whilst loss is common, and that many of us have similar experiences in life. it is paramount to not say sentences like “I have been in your shoes.” or “I know how you feel”.
The truth is you don’t, and should not assume that others feel the same. By making such sentences, you shift the focus of attention to you, and how you have had coped with feelings of loss, and not them. As such, during a funeral, it is never the right time to share these tips about grief coping and remedies that helped.
- I know how you feel
- I have been your in shoes
- S/he has had a long meaningful life
- Don’t worry too much, you will be fine
- I have been through this, and I’m sure you too can be fine
- Look on the bright side, she is in a better place now
5.Monetary Contributions There is no hard rule for how much to give as long as you give intending to assist the family in covering the cost of the funeral. It is a common practice for relatives and friends to make cash contributions to help the bereaved with the cost of the funeral. 6.Helping Someone Who is Grieving Losing someone dear is never an easy process and the period after a loss in which grief is experienced and mourning occurs can sometimes be too overwhelming for an individual. There are no right ways to grieve and there are certainly no end dates or timetables for one to experience grief and it can last as long as it takes to adjust to the changes in our lives brought by the absence of our loved ones.
For some, it may months, while others even years. It is often difficult to tell or know what to say to someone who is experiencing grief, and at times, we can be left feeling powerless or inadequate for as much as we love to help, our words of comfort sometimes may not seem to do enough in the circumstances, and that we find ourselves lost in words, worrying about what we said that may upset or aggravate the emotional pain of the Bereaved.
Letters to Heaven The act of writing emotions, feelings, and thoughts on a paper releases the stress of repressed feelings. The act of it allows you to freely and safely express yourself without judgment and prejudice and helps the bereaved in sorting out his or her feelings and lead her towards closure. Podcasts are now available for selected written letters. for more information, In your journey of finding closure and grief management, our, supports individuals and families who have lost their loved ones through death with their plethora of services and community-based social services.
- Prolonged difficulty in managing daily activities
- Neglect of personal care and grooming
- Extreme preoccupation with the loss of the person
- Extreme anger or bitterness
- Increased use of intoxicants
- Hallucinations related to the loss
- Prolonged withdrawal from social activities
- Inability to enjoy hobbies or interests
- Persistent thought of worthlessness or hopelessness
- Worsening of existing mental health conditions
Live Life, Love Life. A Message from our sponsor: Whether you are planning your own or your loved ones end of life plan, Nirvana Memorial Garden can help you achieve total peace of mind and long-term savings with a comprehensive suite of funeral and preplanning services. To learn more, visit us at : Funeral Etiquette: What to Say & What to Do When Someone Dies.
What do you say to your mother-in-law for the first time?
15 Interesting Things to Talk About with Your Mother-In-Law If you have a partner and you’re married, you must have wondered, at some point, what might be the best things to talk about with your mother-in-law. You can’t avoid her forever, and she will keep visiting you and your partner. If you have children, she will likely visit them often.
You are not alone, and you don’t have to keep worrying about things to talk about with your mother-in-law. You can check out the conversation topics described below for inspiration.01 Your kids’ health Anything to do with the health of the grandchildren is considered a prime conversation topic with mothers-in-law.
Whether it’s an update on health or a worried thought about it, your mother-in-law will be willing to talk about it and offer her thoughts. The latter is an added bonus; topics like these make mothers-in-law feel as though they are useful because they are sharing their advice and tips. Photo by Daria Shevtsova under pexels license 02 Your partner’s job success Reveling in your partner’s success at work or in life is a good thing, especially when it’s in front of your mother-in-law. It projects a united front in your relationship, a loving connection, and support for one another.
Any mother-in-law would be happy to know that his/her child’s partner is supportive. She might also be thrilled about her son’s or daughter’s success. It also diverts the conversation from you for a while, in the case that you need it.03 Your kid’s good grades in a particular subject at school Grandchildren are always among the best things to talk about with your mother-in-law.
Even the dullest conversation with her can be improved by talking about the grandchildren and how they are doing at school. It works best if you stay on the bright side of things by discussing the subjects in which the kids are excelling at school. Chances are that she will end up talking about what she excelled in while at school, and you’ll have yourself a full conversation with your mother-in-law. Photo by Lukas under pexels license 04 Your partner’s good parenting skills Talking about your partner in a good light is always a good idea, especially in front of his or her mother. A conversation about your partner’s good parenting skills should go a long way, and it could even go wonderfully. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio under pexels license 05 How it was raising your partner when she was younger This is a good topic of conversation because it puts your mother-in-law at the center of the conversation. She can take the stage and discuss her memories.
She can give you some tips, and she can talk about where her and her peers ended up. You can expect a successful conversation with your mother-in-law because the topic allows her to be both the source of the attention and the oracle of wisdom when it comes to parenting. Besides, you get to show interest in how to become a better, wiser parent.06 If she believes in diets and if she would do one A discussion on food that also involves her and her opinions is bound to be successful.
This topic of discussion is good because it is open-ended, which allows your mother-in-law to air her ideas and opinions on diets without any restriction. It’s also a good alternative if you’re looking to shift the focus of conversation from your children or family to her or something less controversial.07 Her advice on healthy recipes If your mother-in-law is a foodie, as many are, she will welcome a discussion on healthy recipes. Photo by Heather Ford on unsplash 08 Your kids’ newest food obsession Grandchildren are always a welcomed topic of conversation with mothers-in-law. Talking about their latest food obsessions is a good way to make the conversation about food and the grandchildren. Photo by Pete Wright on unsplash 09 One of her signature meals and how the family has been craving it If she does have a signature meal that she likes to prepare or naturally does well, then talking about it is essentially inviting her to have a long conversation with you.
The conversation can be about her sharing her knowledge with you. This topic praises her meal, and that is like catnip for mothers-in-law. It’s enough for her to start talking about herself or her recipes. This topic also works because it triggers a topic that comes naturally to her, which makes her feel important, interesting, and useful.10 Your attempt to get the kids to like healthy food Whenever you can’t find anything else to talk about with your mother-in-law, you can always count on any topic regarding food and the grandchildren.
If you’ve always wanted to come off to your mother-in-law as an involved, knowledgeable parent, this is the kind of topic that you need to bring up when she is around. You also get a bonus; you get useful tips on how to steer the kids away from eating unhealthy food. Photo by Alexander Dummer under pexels license 11 How she is doing right now If your mother-in-law comes to visit and some time has passed, it is always good to ask about her well-being and her personal life. You can ask about her health, her house, and her life.
It is the easiest way to start a conversation with her because she can’t really avoid the question. You get bonus points for being a caring daughter-in-law or son-in-law. Most importantly, she gets to talk about herself, and most people don’t mind doing this.12 Her current passion, projects, or hobbies If you know about your mother-in-law’s hobbies or personal projects, then it’s a good topic of conversation.
For starters, talking about the other person will score you some points because it shows that you’re caring, and you want to know about her interests (like a good son or daughter). It also takes the focus away from you, your partner, and your kids. Besides, older people like to talk about their passions, projects, and hobbies to interested listeners. Photo by Rebecca Grant on unsplash 13 A recent news story that happened in her area There’s no better way to start a long conversation than by discussing the news. With your mother-in-law, you can keep it personal by talking about a recent news story that happened in her area or near her residence.
You can ask how it affected her, if at all? You can ask about what really happened and if there’s anything that we didn’t see on the news. This is a good topic because news stories can trigger interesting discussions, and it can happen almost automatically. It’s also great if you want to turn the conversation away from you or your partner.15 Interesting Things to Talk About with Your Mother-In-Law 14 Her opinion on the best places for a family vacation with kids Older parents-in-law always want to have their opinion heard, if only for the feeling that they are seen as wise or knowledgeable.
Asking your mother-in-law for an opinion on the best spot for a family vacation may not yield choices that your family would actually consider or use, but it’s an ego booster for her of the highest sort. Besides, family vacations are a clean, less sensitive topic that you can use at any time. Photo by michael ledford on reshot 15 Climate change, politics, and other serious topics Many people assume that mothers-in-law are just boring individuals who are only interested in homemaking and parenting. However, current events and issues are good topics of conversation because many mothers-in-law also like to be taken seriously, especially if they had a solid career in their younger years.
Bringing up discussions on timely issues, such as climate change, also can get you some points with your mother-in-law. She may even see you in a new light. If your current worry is the things to talk about with your mother-in-law when she visits, then you are not alone. Fortunately, there are thousands of appropriate things to talk about with your mother-in-law that you can use to always keep the conversation going.
All you need is the inspiration and a little push. We hope that you can get both inspiration and some motivation from the conversation topic ideas discussed in this article. : 15 Interesting Things to Talk About with Your Mother-In-Law
How do I stand up to my mother-in-law?
Download Article Download Article Does your mother-in-law try to run your home like it’s hers, criticize your every move, and barge in unannounced? If you’re fed up, discuss your feelings with your spouse. Come up with clear boundaries, and have your spouse discuss the problem with their mother.
- 1 Learn to pick your battles. It’s not worth getting upset every time your mother-in-law asks about something personal or gets on your nerves. Try to stay calm and ignore minor grievances. Save your energy for when she oversteps boundaries in more significant ways.
- For example, if you had her over for dinner and she says, “Well the chicken’s alright, but I would have seasoned it more,” just let it slide. Tell her, “Thanks for the tip!”
- 2 Enforce your boundaries calmly and firmly when necessary. Stick up for yourself, but don’t be disrespectful or shout. When you need to tell her to back down, try to keep your tone neutral and matter-of-fact. Do your best to keep your cool to avoid escalating the conflict.
- Suppose she keeps asking about personal topics, such as why you don’t go to her place of worship or how many exes you have. Tell her, “I’d rather not discuss that topic. Let’s talk about something else.”
- If she comes over without calling ahead, tell her, “Now isn’t a good time. We’ve talked about calling ahead to make sure it’s convenient, and you’ll have to come over another time.”
- 3 Assert your authority politely if she tries to run your home. If she tends to take over whenever she visits your home, ask her to sit and relax. Thank her for wanting to help, but stress that you have everything under control.
- For instance, if you invite her over for dinner and she tries to take over in the kitchen, say, “Thanks for offering to help, but I can handle it! Have a seat and relax. I don’t like to put company to work!”
- If she insists on helping, you could give her a simple task to keep her out of the way, like chopping veggies or making the salad.
- 4 Stand up for yourself if she repeatedly disrespects you. If she continues to criticize you, pester you about private topics, and invade your personal space, tell her to stop. You still shouldn’t shout or get angry, but make it clear that you won’t tolerate further disrespect.
- Say, “We’ve discussed this before, and I’m not comfortable with the way you continue to interfere with my household. I’ve tried to be cordial, and I want to keep the peace, but this has to stop.”
- 1 Explain your feelings to your partner. Respect your spouse’s relationship with their mother, but explain your needs for personal space and autonomy. Make your needs clear, and name specific issues that need to be addressed. Keep your tone positive, and remind your spouse that you don’t blame them for their mother’s actions.
- For example, say, “I understand you’re close with your mother, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. However, I need boundaries. It’s not okay for her to come over unannounced or criticize my parenting skills.”
- Bring up your feelings as soon as possible. You’ll have an easier time handling issues without conflict if you address them sooner rather than later.
- 2 Tell your spouse you understand they’re in a tough position. Let your spouse know that you get how rough it is being in the middle of the conflict. Emphasize that the relationship between you and your spouse is separate from the conflict between you and your mother-in-law.
- Say, “I get that you’re in a tough position. I don’t want you to feel like you have to choose between me and your family. I love you, and these issues shouldn’t drive a wedge between us.”
- 3 Work with your spouse to come up with clear boundaries. In addition to explaining your needs, ask your spouse how they envision their mother’s role in your lives and how best to deal with the issues you are facing with them. Work with them to find middle ground that satisfies you both.
- For example, your spouse might not mind if she pops in unannounced, and wants her to be a close part of your lives. You could have her over for weekly dinners to satisfy your spouse’s needs, and require her to call ahead before visiting.
- Compromise with your partner, but make your needs clear. Tell them, “I’m happy that you’re so close with your parents, and I want to support that. But I’m your partner, and I need your support, too. Maintaining our privacy doesn’t mean you can’t have a close relationship with your mother.”
- 4 Ask your spouse to have a conversation with their mother on their own. Once you’ve come up with solutions, your spouse should have a talk with their mother alone. Bear in mind it’s your partner’s responsibility to address problems with their parents. If they’re hesitant, explain that they need to take the lead, just as you would if there were an issue with your parents.
- Say, “You need to be the one to tell your mother to give us some space. If you ever have an issue with my parents, then I’d need to take the lead. Be assertive but respectful. Tell her that we’re not shutting her out, but we need to set boundaries.”
- 5 Remind your spouse that they need to have your back. From establishing boundaries to handling criticism or disrespect in the moment, your spouse should defend you. Married partners’ primary loyalties are to each other.
- Make sure that your spouse takes the lead in enforcing boundaries and responds to their mother before you have to. This may be more effective than you saying something.
- If your mother-in-law puts you down, your spouse should calmly say, “Please don’t insult Sam like that. When you disrespect my spouse, you disrespect me, and it’s not okay.”
- If your partner doesn’t have your back, tell them, “We’re a team, and I’m hurt that you didn’t defend me when your mother insulted me. I don’t want to put you in the middle, but you need to stick up for me.”
- 1 Tell her that all friends and family need to call ahead before visiting. You and your spouse could tell your mother-in-law that you have a “call ahead” rule for all guests. Phrasing it in general terms could make her feel less targeted and help you avoid a conflict.
- Your spouse could tell her, “You shouldn’t feel like we don’t want to spend time with you. We just prefer that our friends and family call ahead to make sure it’s a convenient time to visit.”
- 2 Use specific times and dates when you plan visits. If your mother-in-law tends to overstay her welcome, specify start and end times when you make plans. When time’s up, let her know politely but firmly that it’s time to go.
- For example, say, “You can come over for lunch at noon, but Sam and I have to run errands after 3 p.m.”
- Meeting on neutral turf is also a good way to prevent in-laws from overstaying their welcome. Instead of having them come over, meet them at a restaurant or park.
- 3 Don’t loan money or accept support from your in-laws. Staying out of each other’s finances can prevent conflicts over money. Furthermore, if you borrow money or accept support from your mother-in-law, she might seize the opportunity to exert authority.
- For example, suppose you borrow money to pay for something for your child, such as tuition. Your mother-in-law could bring that up when you ask her to stay out of your parenting decisions.
- 4 Explain your parenting rules to her clearly, if you have kids. When she babysits, let her know what and when your kids should eat and when they nap or go to bed. Tell her which TV shows, movies, and other media are off-limits, and note if they need to do homework or any other tasks.
- Since they’ve already raised kids, in-laws sometimes don’t respond well to long, detailed lists of instructions. Try quick, relevant guidelines, such as, “Please don’t let the kids watch TV or play video games unless they’ve finished their homework,” or “Billy needs to take his allergy medication at 7 p.m. Please make sure he takes it.”
- Keep in mind your mother-in-law might not always stick to your parenting style. It’s best to brush off minor issues, such as if she feeds your kids ice cream against your wishes.
- If you have a disagreement about parenting, make sure the kids aren’t within earshot. Don’t allow your mother-in-law to verbally undermine your authority in front of the kids.
- Giving her opportunities to watch your kids can help her feel needed. If she feels that she plays an important role, she might back off from trying to take over other aspects of your life. However, if she frequently goes against your wishes when handling the children, then you may not want to have her watch them anymore.
- 5 Spend time with her only if your spouse is present. Keeping the peace doesn’t mean you need to be best friends with your mother-in-law. Limit your contact with her when your spouse isn’t present, especially if she routinely belittles or criticizes you.
- For example, if you’re dropping off your kids at her house, say hello and be cordial, but don’t stick around all afternoon. Say, “Well it’s been nice chatting, but I’ve got to get going. I should be back for the kids around 5.”
- 6 Avoid complaining about her to your children or other in-laws. Venting to your husband or a trusted friend is one thing, but don’t talk badly about your mother-in-law to your kids. Additionally, don’t complain to any siblings-in-law or any of your spouse’s other relatives.
- You don’t want your mother-in-law to hear that you’ve been talking about her behind her back. Your siblings-in-law might complain to you about their mother, but it’s wise to avoid contributing the conversation.
Add New Question
- Question How do I say no if my mother in law asks for money? Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. Professional Counselor Expert Answer
- Question How do I deal with a mother in law who holds grudges? Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. Professional Counselor Expert Answer Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer. Be yourself. If you do not hold grudges, continue not holding grudges. You cannot control the behavior of someone else, but you can control how you handle the way they behave with you. Rise above it and resist the urge to get upset if your mother-in-law holds a grudge against you.
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- Do your best not to get angry. Try to empathize with your mother-in-law, especially if her intrusive behavior isn’t malicious. Maybe she just wants to help or is afraid of losing touch with her child.
- Asking your mother-in-law for advice from time to time could help her feel important. If you satisfy her needs by asking for advice, she might stop overstepping your boundaries.
- Put her in her place. Be firm and let her know when she’s crossing the line.
Advertisement Article Summary X To deal with an intrusive, needy mother-in-law, set healthy boundaries that you and your spouse agree on. If your mother-in-law tends to pop over unannounced, tell her that you have a “call ahead” policy for all guests to make sure it’s a convenient time for a visit.
Explaining that you ask everyone to do this can help you avoid conflict. When planning visits, use specific times and dates, like telling her “You can come over for lunch at noon, but we have to run errands around 3.” Another way to keep healthy boundaries is to avoid accepting or lending money, which can lead to power struggles and conflicts.
If your spouse doesn’t help you enforce these rules, remind them that they have to have your back. To learn how to stand up for yourself if your mother-in-law disrespects you, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 364,905 times.
Should mother in law be mentioned in an obituary?
Guide to Writing an Obituary Writing the Perfect Obituary As you likely know, writing an obituary is a vital part of a funeral service. For some people, it’s where they might learn of someone’s passing. For others, it provides information about an upcoming service.
- If you’ve been tasked with writing an obituary for your loved one, you’ve come to the right place.
- Throughout this blog, we’ll break down the five parts that make up an obituary and offer a few obituary examples as inspiration.
- Writing an obituary can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be.
- If you find yourself wondering how to write an obituary for your loved one, break the writing up into different parts.
Most people choose to begin an obituary with the announcement of death. When you’re notifying the community of your loved one’s death, use language you feel comfortable with. It’s completely normal for some people to feel that saying “died” is too blunt.
- At the same time, others feel that using language like “passed away”, “left us”, or “ended a long battle with” can be too vague or tiptoe around what has happened.
- Whatever the case, talk to your family members and come to a consensus on how to make the announcement.
- The largest part of an obituary is the biographical section.
This is often the most personal part of writing an obituary. Within this section, you will summarize the deceased’s life and highlight meaningful qualities, events, and contributions they made while alive. It’s important to remember that an obituary is supposed to be an announcement and brief biography of the deceased.
- Don’t feel the need to recount every detail of their life.
- Also try to avoid bragging about every accomplishment or award the deceased received.
- Unless it was a significant achievement, keep the biographical section of the obituary focused more on the qualities of the deceased and the relationships they shared with others.
A common thing that many obituaries lack is personal connections the deceased shared. If you want to write a truly meaningful obituary, talk about the impact they had on others. Examples of this could be language like ” he always made time to help his kids with their homework” or “her energy could light up a room”.
When you are announcing the death of a loved one, make sure to mention their surviving family members. These are the people who others can turn to offer condolences and assistance during such a difficult time. When you list the survivors, make sure that you list them in order of closest relation to the deceased: spouse, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, parents, and siblings.
When you are listing a relative, make sure to include their first name, their spouse’s first name in brackets and then their last name. It should look something like this: “Tony leaves behind his children Stuart (Dianne) Smith, Jody (Mark) Powell, and Katherine (Nick) Harroway.” In most cases, obituaries do not include the names or nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, or in-laws unless they were close to the deceased.
Grandchildren are sometimes listed but often numbered instead (he leaves behind 5 grandchildren). Towards the bottom of the obituary, make sure that you include important information about the upcoming service. In most cases, the funeral director will add this to the obituary once the details have been confirmed.
The essential information to include is time, date of service, location and the officiant’s name. If you are planning a visitation separate from the service, make sure to note the time, date, and location as well. Some people like to close an obituary with a special message.
This could be something as simple as a prayer or special thanks. If your family wishes to forego people sending flowers in lieu of donations to a charitable cause, this is often where it is requested. Writing an obituary doesn’t have to be difficult. Even with the template above, it can be beneficial to see how others have written obituaries for their loved ones.
Below is a selection of well-written obituary examples. Tony Smith, 63, of Albany, NY sadly passed away on December 29, 2018 after a lengthy battle with ALS. Tony was born to Tony Sr. and Margot Smith on April 22, 1955. After attending New Castle High School, Mr.
Smith went on to serve as an apprentice mechanic before opening his own shop in 1978. His family will remember him as a man’s man. He was the type of person who would choose to repair something over buying a new one. He valued hard work, honesty, and the value of a man’s word. To his children, he was loving but fair.
He made sure to instill his values on them as well as the importance of their education. To his wife, he was loving and caring. He made it a priority to keep the romance alive, and continued their weekly tradition of Saturday date night long into his fight with ALS.
- Mr. Smith is a survived by his loving wife of 41 years, Shelby as well as his children Stuart (Dianne) Smith, Jody (Mark) Powell, and Katherine (Nick) Harroway; and 5 grandchildren.
- Please join us celebrating his life Saturday morning January 5, 2019, between 10:00 a.m.
- 12 noon at Truesdell Funeral Home, 123, Any Street, Albany, NY.
In Lieu of flowers the family asks that you check the air in your tires, the belts and all the spark plug wires – just as he would have, anytime his children came to visit. Susan Matthews, age 78 passed away peacefully in her sleep on August 18, 2014.
- She was born March 21, 1936 in Westchester, NY to her loving parents Christopher and Anne Johnston.
- Susan attended Crescent Heights High School before becoming a nurse.
- Susan loved to love people.
- Her hands were rarely still as she was always sewing or knitting something in free time.
- She also shared her love of food with her children and grandchildren.
Whether it was fresh cut fries, fried chicken, or Friday night pizza, Susan always looked forward to cooking for the ones she loved. For many years, Susan worked as a nurse at a local retirement home. She was driven by a passion to help others and believed the world could always use one more kind-hearted person.
Her life was a living example of her favorite Bible verse, Ephesians 4:32 – ” And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” Susan is survived by her husband Auston, her three sons and their families; Auston (Jessica), Mitchell (Christina), and Johnathon (Alexandra) as well as 7 grandchildren, a 1 great grandchild.
All of those she loved and touched deeply. Please join us celebrating her life Saturday morning August 22, 2014, between 10:00 a.m. – 12 noon at Westchester Funeral Home, 190 Main St. Eastchester. In Lieu of flowers, donations may be made to help wounded veterans at woundedwarriorproject.org.
What do you say when your spouse’s parent dies?
Love Essentially: How to help your spouse grieve the loss of a parent Romantic relationships are so much easier when everything in life is going great. But what happens when tragedy strikes your partner and his or her world is turned upside down? I’m referring to the death of a spouse’s parent.
- The devastation and other intense emotions someone feels when losing their mom, their dad or a sibling can cause a lot of stress in a marriage, especially if the spouse doesn’t know how to help. Dr.
- Nicole Gerber, Psy.D.
- Is a Northbrook-based licensed clinical psychologist, who has counseled couples facing this issue.
She also lost her mom 15 years ago. “A person who loses a parent feels a wide range of emotions, such as relief (if their parent was suffering), shock (if their parent died suddenly), sadness, guilt, fear, despair, loneliness, anger, frustration, hopelessness, helplessness and devastation,” said Gerber, who has been in practice for 18 years.
“It is important to just be with them during their grief and allow them to fully feel their emotions.” Gerber said there is also a loss of identity that occurs when a person loses their parent, which can cause an overwhelming void. Here are Gerber’s four tips for helping your spouse when his or her parent dies.1.
Follow your partner’s lead. If they want to talk, then listen. If they need space, then give them space. Asking your partner, “What do you need from me?” is a good starting point. Communication is crucial.2. Do not try to fix their problem because you can’t bring their parent back.
- Acknowledge and validate how hard it must be for them to have lost their parent.
- Offer support without judgment.
- Let your partner know that you are there for them if they need you.
- This is especially important if your spouse is pulling away from you.3.
- Do not have a timeline in mind for where you think your partner should be with their grief.
Grief does not come in nice neat stages, but rather it comes in waves and feels more like a roller coaster of emotions. They may be grieving intensely one day and barely get out of bed and the next day they may be functioning perfectly fine. Be patient, attuned and attentive to where your partner is at and try to meet them there.4.
Helping your partner keep the memory of their parent alive is helpful to the grieving process. Telling stories, reminiscing and sharing fond memories of that parent is important. Looking at pictures and videos and sharing rituals such as lighting a candle on their parent’s death day can also be helpful.
Paying tribute to that parent by doing something like a walk for breast cancer in their memory or finding other meaningful ways to honor their memory is also important. I have been truly fortunate in that I have not yet experienced the death of my parents.
- However, I feel like I’m at that age where so many of my friends have experienced it.
- It’s very difficult to know what to say, what to do or how to act around someone who just lost a parent, because if you think about it there isn’t anything you can say that will take away their pain.
- It’s a helpless feeling.
And, whatever you end up saying, you’re always wondering if it was the right thing, if it sounded stupid or even if you made the person feel worse. I think just showing up to see your friend, putting your hand on theirs or giving them a hug is often better than words.
It’s telling them in silence that you care. People won’t remember what you said, but they do remember that you came to see them. I also believe most people who suffer the loss of a parent remember how their spouse acted during that shattering time. “When I lost my mom, I remember my husband feeling helpless.
He could not take my pain away or absorb my loss. However, he was there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, to listen to me, to hold me or just to sit with me in silence,” Gerber said. “All of these things were very comforting and aided tremendously in my grieving process.” Gerber said going through the grieving process with your partner can offer a tiny silver lining: strengthening the bond you have with your partner.
- If you can get through this intense and arduous process as a team, you can get through other difficult times together,” she said.
- As they say, ‘for better and for worse.'” Jackie Pilossoph is a freelance columnist for Chicago Tribune Media Group.
- She is also the creator of her divorce support website,,
Pilossoph lives in Chicago with her two children. : Love Essentially: How to help your spouse grieve the loss of a parent
What does the Bible say about sleeping with your mother in law?
Leviticus 18 1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: `I am the LORD your God.3 You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices.4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees.
I am the LORD your God.5 Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD.6 “`No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.7 “`Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.8 “`Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father.9 “`Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.10 “`Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter; that would dishonor you.11 “`Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister.12 “`Do not have sexual relations with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative.13 “`Do not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, because she is your mother’s close relative.14 “`Do not dishonor your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.15 “`Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law.
She is your son’s wife; do not have relations with her.16 “`Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonor your brother.17 “`Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter; they are her close relatives.
That is wickedness.18 “`Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.19 “`Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.20 “`Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her.21 “`Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God.
I am the LORD.22 “`Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.23 “`Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.24 “`Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled.25 Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants.26 But you must keep my decrees and my laws.
The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things, 27 for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled.28 And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.29 “`Everyone who does any of these detestable things-such persons must be cut off from their people.30 Keep my requirements and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them.
I am the LORD your God.'”
Or to be passed through
Are mother in laws important?
Mothers-in-law have been the butt of millions of jokes. In fact, stereotypes dating back as far as 50 years portray the mother-in-law as the most problematic relationship in the family. Yet, it’s no joke when it comes to being a good mother-in-law. This role is not only challenging but requires considerable effort.
- Being a good mother-in-law is one of the most important roles in healthy family dynamics.
- In order to someday be a good grandmother, you should first study how to be a good mother-in-law, as this relationship can set the tone for your role as grandmother,
- Additionally, if you focus on being a positive influence and acting accordingly, research shows that these attitudes and behaviors could end up being a self-fulfilling prophecy in many instances.
In other words, people who believe their ties to their in-laws will be strong, will end up having strong ties.